I am so far off the wagon I can't even see the dust in the distance. Pathetic.
You may have guessed this from my radio silence over the last little while. When I started this little writing project I vowed to be nothing but truthful on this blog. Apparently over the last little while I've chosen absence over facing fact.
The time has come.
Haven't adhered to any sort of plan, really, since before Morocco. I have no real excuse. Still on steroids--which sucks. But oddly. the steroids don't force you to choose french fries over fruit; nor do they make you sleep in instead of going to cardio. Nope, this one's all on me.
It's like a different version of Aryn has taken over my body--a lazy, unmotivated, blah incarnation. I don't like her so much.
Now, for the numbers. As of this very moment I've lost 53.2 lbs total. Gained 3.2 lbs since the last time I weighed in 3 weeks ago. Both the lack of weighing in and the gain are awful--but truthfully, not nearly as bad as anticipated. Sadly, when I stepped on the scale this am I was shooting for a < 10lb gain. How's that for driven.
A 50+ lb weight loss is nothing to sneeze at, I know this. However, everything is relative. And if you look at my progress over, say. the last two months, it is laughable as compared to the first two. First two months=down 21 lbs. Last two months=down 8.4 lbs. 8.4 lbs-WHAT? I used to lose close to that in one week!!!!
Don't let me fool you. I am in no sort of conundrum (sp). The answer is simple. Do the freakin program. I get it. Yet I clearly don't GET IT.
And I'm not sure what I need to get jump started--other than a muzzle.
You may have guessed this from my radio silence over the last little while. When I started this little writing project I vowed to be nothing but truthful on this blog. Apparently over the last little while I've chosen absence over facing fact.
The time has come.
Haven't adhered to any sort of plan, really, since before Morocco. I have no real excuse. Still on steroids--which sucks. But oddly. the steroids don't force you to choose french fries over fruit; nor do they make you sleep in instead of going to cardio. Nope, this one's all on me.
It's like a different version of Aryn has taken over my body--a lazy, unmotivated, blah incarnation. I don't like her so much.
Now, for the numbers. As of this very moment I've lost 53.2 lbs total. Gained 3.2 lbs since the last time I weighed in 3 weeks ago. Both the lack of weighing in and the gain are awful--but truthfully, not nearly as bad as anticipated. Sadly, when I stepped on the scale this am I was shooting for a < 10lb gain. How's that for driven.
A 50+ lb weight loss is nothing to sneeze at, I know this. However, everything is relative. And if you look at my progress over, say. the last two months, it is laughable as compared to the first two. First two months=down 21 lbs. Last two months=down 8.4 lbs. 8.4 lbs-WHAT? I used to lose close to that in one week!!!!
Don't let me fool you. I am in no sort of conundrum (sp). The answer is simple. Do the freakin program. I get it. Yet I clearly don't GET IT.
And I'm not sure what I need to get jump started--other than a muzzle.
Sorry my beautiful girl but it comes only from "wanting" it more than anything else. There are no words of motivation, no amazing revelation, no astounding method only the drive will take you there. When you want it - it shall come..
ReplyDeleteI love you --- Your "other" Mom