Lean Back

I suppose that the most difficult part of going to the gym is supposed to be the physical exertion.

Sooooo not the case for me.  The hardest part for me is trust.  Trusting that I can do the various exercises I am challenged with, without collapsing....trusting that not everyone in the entire gym is watching me look ridiculous...trusting that the sickeningly fit housewife next to me and Mr. Muscle World 2010 on the other side of me aren't judging my current state of being....trusting that the trainer is not thinking "jesus christ, how in the hell did she let herself get this out of shape to begin with"....trusting that I can lean all the way back without falling off the machine......and the list goes on....

In addition to the challenge I put forth last week of not bitching whilst in training mode, this week I am also determined to work on the whole trust thing.  Partly b/c fearing the gym is sooooooo not my style--or at least not what I want my style to be.

Rather ironically, it seems that I can't move forward in reaching my goals without learning to lean back.