Thursday, July 19, 2012

Mind Game

My slightly delusional fiance looks at me this morning and says, "Babe, you're lookin' thinner." 

How a man who doesn't notice a 6 inch haircut hones in on weekly weight fluctuations, I'll never know. 

But I rolled with it.  All the way to the scale.  

Unfortunately, the scale had a slightly different verdict: down 1.2 lbs last week...7lbs in the first two weeks back...15.6 lbs total.

Honestly, that was a helluva lotta work to get rid of a few ounces.

Could someone please tell my body that it is supposed to be at its lightest every Thursday at 8:45am. Not Thursday, 5am.  Not Friday, 5pm.  Thursday, 8:45am. That I freakin drank 28 glasses of water over the last 48 hours to ensure I wouldn't be carrying an extra oz. of water weight.  That my Starbucks (grande, skinny, carmel latte) is getting cold sitting on the chair at the WW meeting b/c heaven forbid I ingest anything before getting weighed.  That I get as close as possible to naked without (severely) offending people before setting foot on the scale.

None of this is rational.  But it's reality.  I mean, in the sense that it is really what I do.  And in the moment, it doesn't feel that wacky.

I guess it isn't that much less sane than being pleased as punch at having my name announced in front of the "class" and being given a "5 lb loss" or "bravo" sticker.  Or adults encouraging each other to eat their vegetables.  And it's definitely more balanced than my mom's assertion that "seasoned green beans taste better than french fries."

On Thursdays at 8:45am I am reminded that this whole weight loss thing is predominately a mind game.  That if I just do whatever all of these dumb little things are that I apparently "need" to do to stay in the zone, the results will come.

However....if I ever utter the phrase "these green beans taste better than french fries"....please take pity on me and have me committed. 



Sunday, July 15, 2012

It's Been a Really Really Messed Up Week

Yes, I am 33 years of age and I just quoted Hot Chelle Rae.

It HAS been a wacky couple of weeks--really, the whole month thus far has proven to be a bit of a challange.  Personally.  Professionally.  You name it.

And when balls are dropping, I'm generally accustomed to catching them in a glass of wine or on a plate of (insert delectable, rich ethnic food here).

But not this time.  This time I managed to stay the course.  Keep my ass in gear.  And in a week I dropped 5.6 lbs. 

Unfortuately, it's missing a zero.  Dropping 50.6 lbs--now THAT would have been a week worth blogging about.

In all seriousness, I actually kinda surprised myself by keeping it together.  Perhaps I pulled motivation from the fact that I tried on my blatantly too small wedding dress and it's like 4 inches short of closing.  Or from being able to lay off Prilosec b/c I'm not eating crap.  Or from a dear friend who decided to get off the couch a mere few months ago and is now not able to make it to my Vegas bachelorette soiree b/c she is running in her first half marathon.  Or maybe due to my fiance shouting after me as I was lapping him while doing my first day of Couch Potato to 5K Runner, "How are you so fit for being so fat."  Or realizing the money that we are saving by eating out much less (like only once in the last seven days) is better used for things like dog cancer surgery.

Whatever it is, I plan to continue to harness it.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Lessons from a Pug

My brain had come up with excuses for not working out this morning even before I saw daylight.

When I managed to pry my eyelids open and heave myself up from my floor resting spot next to the patient, I saw a pug--who, having had major cancer surgery 12 hours earlier on top of an eye ulcer that has kept her in the cone of shame for almost a month, was wagging her Frankenstein-esque tail at me and trying to get around the cone to lick my face.

My tough little pug--with 5 inches of stitches in her 3 inch tail (you can probably fill in the blank on the unfortunate spot that the stitches originate)-- woke up more ready for the day's challenges than I did.

I have been put to shame by a 15.4 lb, squished faced, bow-legged, battle-scared dog.

Needless to say, I made it to the gym. 

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Independence Day

This week we celebrate our fine country's independence.

Fittingly, my fight for personal freedom is in full swing......

*Freedom from frantically searching my closet for the one pair of pants that manages to fit this rotund rear
*Freedom from avoiding the middle seat on an airplane at all costs
*Freedom from being a pretty fat girl..instead of a pretty girl
*Freedom from shying away from physically demanding activities while traveling
*Freedom from the fat store
*Freedom from allowing my picture to be taken only from the neck up
*Freedom from hoping I make it past 50
*Freedom from only being able to go on walks/runs with other fat people
*Freedom from wearing shorts in the pool

Let freedom ring!



Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Let's Do This!!

When I woke up this morning, Shaun turned to me and said "You look slimmer, baby!"

If only.

Day 1 back at the gym (yesterday) was truly sub-awful.  Last time I fought the elliptical, I ended up making it 6+ miles at high-ish intensity.  Yesterday was 20 min at low intensity and done--a mile and a half a best. 

Reality check. 

So today I had a more modest goal--and was able to swing 30 minutes at my thinner-Aryn intensity....2.5 or so miles. 

I'll take it.  Until tomorrow.  When I'm gonna shoot for 31 minutes...or maybe even 32 minutes, if I'm feelin frisky.

Oh the suspense.....


Monday, July 2, 2012

The BITCH is BACK

Life is pretty wacky.

So, it's been 19 months since I began this quest.

And in the last 19 months, I have:
-Moved from San Francisco to surburban Houston.  Intended to stay a year.  I'm still here.
-Lost 64 lbs.  Should have been 190 lbs (goal was 10 lbs/ month).
-Gained 55 lbs back. I'm currently a mere 181 lbs off target.
-Planned to take a year off from the rat race....ended up working in some form for the entire time
-Met a guy->moved in with said guy->got engaged
-Bought a wedding dress that just may be 4 sizes to small at this very moment
-Started a blog
-Restarted a blog after completely ignoring it for most of 6 months
-Started Weight Watchers
-Restarted Weight Watchers after a 7 month hiatus
-Explored Morocco, Trinidad and Tobago, and a bunch of less exciting spots in between
-Lived in the same city as my Grammy for the first time in my life
-Learned a lot about what I want to be when I grow up
-Joined Facebook
-Became a homeowner
-Un-abandoned my cute little pug
-Gained Focus.  Lost Focus.  GAINED FOCUS.

May not be able to control life....but I surely do have command over what goes in this mouth and how much time this ass spends idle.

So here we go for round 2.....