Oh What a Year it Has Been!

Well, it's been a year since I officially began this journey.

Holy moly has it gone by fast!!!  No joke.

The good news is:
-I've lost 64 lbs.
-I'm more fit than I have ever been as an adult.
-I am wearing clothes I haven't fit into in years.
-I managed to meet the love of my life. And he happened to come with a slammin house!
-I am fortunate to have spent more time with my parents.
-I am lucky to have a stronger support system than I ever could have imagined.
-I feel rejuvenated and ready for my next career adventure.
-My ass is actually starting to look roundish and my face is beginning to look less so.

The other news is:
Eh, I'll save it for another day.  Today I bask in the glow of a year well spent!

FUCK YES!

I mean, happy Thanksgiving everyone.

I also mean, FUCK YES.

As it pertains to my TWELVE POUND weight loss last week.

Yup, I am now the thinnest I have been as an adult.

Well, until 5pm this evening...when I commence eating everything in site.

Gobble gobble!

Wacky Week

The last few weeks have been like I am living in bizarro world.

The sitch:
*I have worked out TWICE A DAY the last 20 out of 21 days.
*I have not exceeded my food points allowance any day in the last 3 weeks--well, except for my birthday.  On my day, I had a giant piece of cake and some yum-o pancakes.  Totally worth it.
*Last week I gained 7 pounds.  Yes, GAINED.  Despite all of the above.  And then I had a nervous breakdown.  Nearly.
*My badass boyfriend, magnificent mom, dynamo dad, awesome Auntie M, and tremendous trainer all talked me down from the ledge.  I was being a total pain in the ass, whoa is me whiner.
*My trainer saved the day.  He suggested that I drink more water (like twice as much), limit my sodium intake, eat all of my food points, and keep working out intensely.
*Fast-forward two days and like 200 pees.  I lost the 7 pounds I had found...plus three more.  That's 10 pounds of water I had apparently been carrying around.  Totally crazy.

Tomorrow I get weighed in for real.  Then we will really know.

Tomorrow is also the anniversary of my move to Houston.

Now if I can just lose 50 or so pounds by then, I'd be really set!

Awesome Mental Strength

My boyfriend often reminds me of our collective awesome mental strength (generally just before I put a tortilla chip in my mouth).

Well, I am pretty close to giddy to report that today I exhibited super-human mental strength (well, by Aryn standards).

This is the 11th consecutive day of working out.  And on this 11th consecutive day, I grumbled out of bed at 6:30am (waaaay too early on a Saturday) and allowed my car to magically steer me to the gym.

Drum roll please.

Somehow, I managed to huff and puff my way through SIXTY-EIGHT MINUTES/ SIX+ MILES of elliptical torture.

I have never intentionally participated in such extreme physical activity in my life (yes, I have been on more strenuous hikes, I just have been tricked into them).

And apparently it was pretty much my limit.  When I got home, my boyfriend quipped "WOW babe, you look BEAT!"

Lemme tell ya, there is zero chance I look half as beat as I feel!

GOOOOOD Day!

This one goes out to my Auntie M...whose nagging no doubt contributed to my day yesterday.....

Yesterday was GOOOD.

Like, 3 trips to the gym and 2 visits to Weight Watchers, good.

Like, an hour on the elliptical and an hour with the trainer, good.

Like, within 2 lbs of my lowest weight, good.

Like, 12 points under my food limit, good.

Like, 200% higher than my usual daily activity point total, good.

Like, this morning I weighed 2.5 lbs less than yesterday morning, good.

Soooo soooo GOOOOOD!

Power Hour

When I was in college (more than a few years ago), "power hour" referred to a rather intense drinking game. One that I was pretty darn good at, if I doooooo say so myself.  FUN.

In these last few days of my 32nd year, "power hour" has taken on a new meaning--the 67 minutes (YES ONE HOUR PLUS SEVEN MINUTES) that I spent on the elliptical this morning.  LESS FUN.  But, more fulfilling. 6 miles fulfilling. 700+ calories fulfilling.

Tomorrow is the big weigh in day.  So, we'll see how effective my last 7 days of being back on the wagon have been.

I miss booze.  And I miss chocolate.  And I miss Mexican food.

Hopefully I will have shed a few pounds that I WILL NOT miss.

God help me I will make it past the 61 lb loss barrier.  One power hour at a time.

DAY 3!!!

So, it's really day 330-something of my new lifestyle quest.  Yes, it has almost been a year already--can ya believe it?!?!?

For me at this moment, it feels more like day 3.  Ya see, somehow I let myself fall into a rut resembling a giant vat of excuses.  None of them particularly solid, inventive, witty excuses.  Just plain old half hearted "reasons" why it was justified for me to take a break from the program that I uprooted my whole life for.

My trek out of the rut began with a call to my mom a few days ago.  This "discussion" kicked off with a lengthy confession (on my part) and loud chiding (on hers).  It was JUST what I needed, and JUST why I called.

And now my (rather robust) ass is back in gear (again).  And I am genuinely, desperately hopeful that it will stay there.

My low is 61 lbs down....and I am clamoring to get past that number.  Well, at least I have been clamoring for the last 3 days.  Prior to that, I was eating a vat of Halloween candy almost as large as my vat of excuses.

Where the Hell Have I Been?!?

Excellent question.  Less excellent answer.

I'm right here.  And for a time I was doing everything but focusing on the "new" lifestyle plan.

My excuses have excuses.

But bottom line is the facts are the facts.

I am less than proud to admit that I had gained back 8 lbs of the 61 lbs I had lost.

I have since lost 5 lbs, so I'm currently 3 lbs from my lowest weight.

That's the good news.

The other news is that I "should" be down 110 lbs by now.  Yes, I said 110.

So, I'm a bit off pace.

BUT, I've regained focus and recommitted.

And to celebrate I elliptical-ed for 45 minutes today--an all time Aryn high.

Here we go (AGAIN)!

Calamity Jane

My incredible boyfriend has taken to calling me Calamity Jane.  I'm guessing that it may be on account of the uncanny number of items that have gone awry in the house since my arrival a mere 2 months ago:

-Minor middle of the night toilet flooding incident (may I add that I saved the day on this one by hearing the gusher at 3am...boyfriend would likely point out that I caused the issue to begin with)
-Sprinkler system leak
-Gigunda driveway crack
-Not so minor water pipe leak (I dug a giant hole in 100+ degree heat in an effort to save the day; ends up the hole wasn't exactly in the right place)
-Entry way concrete upheaval
-Kitchen sink garbage disposal explosion (it was grrroooossssss)
-Shower soap dish shattering
-Bathroom faux-drawer face accidental removal (what is the point of a false drawer?!?)

Truth is, I had a hand in only roughly 25% of these incidents....

In similarly catastrophic news, just as I am mostly recovered from my back tweak, I find myself with a raging cold.  I clearly am not meant to cardio this week (or last, for that matter).

Can I Get a What What!?!

Exciting times:

-Down 3.4 pounds last week.  61 total.  Finally out of the rut and back in the game (I think).
-Found myself on the elliptical this am for the first time in 8 days. Managed to get through the whole workout despite my busted (but improving) back.
-Wore my skinny-skinny jeans on Sunday night.  The jeans that I haven't fit into in 4+ yrs.  And I looked damn good!
-Mostly stuck to the plan on Sunday for Mexican food sans blowing the week.  Managed to work a lo-cal mojito into the plan.  Came in a dozen or so points under for the day--big save!

Big smiles...huge!

A Precarious Position

Well, I've managed to put myself in a pickle this week--a points pickle.

Here's the scenario:
-I ate my way to -5 points for the week, going into Sunday.  This means I've downed 5 more than my allowable weekly and activity points.  The goal is to have weekly/ activity points remaining---or at least be even.
-In an attempt to salvage the week, I walked the 5 points off this am.  Normally, this would leave me just ducky, as I only have to stay within my 43 daily points today to call this week a "success".
-This is soooo not that kind of day.  I've committed to going to one of my fave upscale Mexican restos for dinner.  One that specializes in fancy margaritas and delicioso fajitas.
-To compound things, my fabulous boyfriend has a ton (like 80+) weekly/ activity points left, so he is free and clear for dinner tonight.

UH OH.

My options:
-Say "fuck it".
-Show supreme restraint.

The early decision is to go with the latter.  I am currently planning to have a grilled shrimp salad and a mere 12 tortilla chips.  Sounds yummy.  Ok, not at all--but--sometimes you just gotta suck it up and make a good choice.

May the force be with me.

My Superstar Boyfriend

My boyfriend has taken to this Weight Watchers thing like a champ!

He has been counting his points for every morsel that enters his mouth---even when he big time transgresses.  And has kicked my ass with the activity points--you know, by working out every day this week...sometimes twice.  You should see how effective he has become at "guilting while not guilting" me into good choices.  And encouraging us to eat at home instead of going to Houston Resto Month every night of the week.   When he is having a bad day and I offer to go out and snag him something sinful, he politely yet pointedly declines.  And when we do go out for Mexican food he manages to have a salad no dressing instead of the 2 margaritas, quesadilla, and mountain of chips that seem to sneak their way into my mouth.

All of this while maintaining full time employment. ;-)

Yay and Boo

So, last week I dropped 1.6 pounds.  And I'm thrilled.

I know that being pleased seems odd, since I formerly was averaging 4lbs or so a week.  But as of late I've been in the < 1 pound range....soooooo 1.6lbs seems like a win to me.

In the loss column is my poor busted back. Not quite sure how I did it--somewhere in between the leg press and the lunges.

Thus I haven't been able to work out since Monday.  Bitter sweet.  I mean, I HATE working out...but I also hate the thought that my ass is expanding due to lack of activity.

So, tomorrow I will go to the trainer.  And get this back, back on track.

Wish me luck!

The Thing About Weekends

The thing about weekends is that they can undo your entire week.  Blow it to smithereens--like your 5 days of do-gooding never existed in the first place.

At least, that's what  I hear.

I'd imagine that it could happen if you, for example, make a hasty decision that Houston Resto Month is absolutely positively not to be missed.  Twice.

Or maybe if you were to host a last minute grilling (and drinking) Sunday bash.  A soiree that includes cupcakes--double oreo and cream cupcakes.

Or perhaps if you were to eat an entire slice of red velvet cake for Sunday breakfast under the guise of having made it to the gym 6 days this week.

I feel for the person who had that kind of weekend.....

Utter Frustration

I was so perturbed after my run in with the Weight Watchers scale on Monday that I couldn't bring myself to write yesterday.

All of last week's effort resulted in a whopping .6 (point six) pound loss.  Uber lame.  No idea why.

Rather coincidentally, the meeting topic was what to do when you feel like you're stuck.

Yup, that's me.  A 3 pound loss in 4 weeks=S-T-U-C-K.

So, here's the plan to get outta my rut:
-Eat all daily points; leave weekly and activity untouched
-Limit my fruit/ veggies to the recommended 7 servings per day (as opposed to constant gorging on fruit)
-Drink 8 glasses of water per day
-Work out a minimum of 8 times per week (I'm really going for 2 times per day x 6 days, but will settle for 8 times total)

2 days into my new strategy, things seem to be going well.  I've done all of the above successfully since the beginning of the week.  It's a total pain in the ass.

GOD HELP ME THIS WORKS.

Pat on the Back

I am gonna go ahead and give myself a giant pat on the back.

This weekend was a toughy.  Boyfriend's family was in town all weekend.  And the primary activity is generally very gastronomically focused.

I could bore you with a sob story detailing each and every heart wrenching eating decision I had to make. How I went to a baseball game and only had three sips of a diet soda.  That the house smelled like bacon all weekend; bacon that never touched these lips.  But I'll give ya the cliff's notes version: aryn= success (this week, anyway).  I ended the week with 31 (of 49) weekly points leftover and earned an additional 28 activity points that I didn't touch.  Yahoo!

God help me this will pay off at tomorrow's weigh in.  Pretty freakin please.

Grrrrrrr......

I am frustrated with myself.

The long and the short is that I clearly am a much better planner in my professional life than I am in my personal life.

The long and the long is that I put myself in a pickle.  I had planned allllll day to have one of my fave diet friendly eating out meals this evening--turkey burger with avocado and black beans.  However, by the time I got to dinner I had eaten my way into a WW point corner.  I had only enough daily points for the burger.  No avocado.  I had to miss out on the BEST part.  And am bummed.

I am fully aware that this is a pretty silly conundrum.  Gotsta take pleasure in the small things, ja know!

Oh, and I lost 1.2 pounds last week.  Not huge, but not so bad considering my weekend performance.

Oh What a Night (Weekend)

Last weekend was the most amazing weekend of my life.  And I'm not particularly exaggerating.  No, really.  Just an uber special weekend.

Last weekend was also an eating failure--both boyfriend and I ate and ate.  Not so good.

We have great excuses--we were at a wedding that boyfriend was a groomsman in so we didn't choose the food.  We had to have a piece of wedding cake--after all, it is tradition.  We were on vacation!
Etc., etc.

Truth is, I am utterly responsible for how I ate.  The frustrating part is, I'm pretty sure I undid the 4 days that I busted my ass last week to move the needle.

Truth also is, that I wouldn't give up last weekend for anything.  

Ass Kicking

In the last 24 hours the following have kicked my ass:

-Weight Watchers: The sad, pathetic, depressing bottom line from last week is a POINT TWO pound loss. Yup, you read it right.  Worked out 6 times, stayed under my weekly points, didn't booze it even once....big sigh.

-Kickboxing: Definitely kicked my ass, but I most certainly kicked back.  If ya haven't tried it, you absolutely should!

-My shins: It's not a great sign to wake up in the middle of the night with screaming shins.

-Zumba: In case there was ever a question as to whether I have rhythm, there has been a definitive answer--I possess no rhythm whatsoever.  Zero. Zilch.  Nada.

-My boyfriend's WW effort: My boyfriend joined Weight Watchers in show of solidarity.  What a swell guy!  In the last 4 days, he's down 4 pounds.  Mind you, this is while eating pie, Wendy's, and ice cream to ensure he uses all his points.  Good for him.

One Step Forward

Well, it's almost my weekly D-day....Monday...Weight Watchers day.

And I have reason to be hopeful that this week's results will leave last week in the dust:
-I worked out 6 out of 7 days.  Haven't done that in at least 3 months.  And I feel it in every muscle fiber.
-I came in under my weekly points and managed to rack up 28 activity points-- the latter remained untouched.  Better than last week, but not perfect.  Need to stay away from those weekly points.  I remember it being easier to do.  I dunno.
-A drop of booze did not touch my lips.  Boring, I know. But good.
-Managed to drop my trips to the scale down from 6 or so times a day to every other day-ish.

So, manana we shall see.

Four for Four

Outside of the whole point 6 pound weight loss issue, this week started in grand fashion.

I am 4 for 4 in workout sessions--it's Thursday, and I've gone to the gym (and worked out) every day.  Haven't done that in what feels like eons--and is really three months.

In the vein of patting myself on the back, I went to Mexican yesterday (boo) and came out unscathed (yay).  I counted and recorded each and every chip that went into my mouth.  And had just chicken fajita meat and pico--no tortillas, no sour cream, no rice and beans.  BUENO!

Going into the weekend, I have the vast majority of my weekly points at my disposal and have earned a pretty healthy number of activity points.  We will see if I can manage to not blow my week, a la last weekend.

I'd better make it, as I have a fair amount of ground to make up.  I'm currently sitting at a 54 lb loss--"should be" closer to 80 by now.

Onward.

ARGH

Lost .6..yes point 6 lbs last week.  The equivalent of a big shit.

Sucks.

I felt sufficiently deprived all week, so I truly expected better results.

The reality of the week is a bit different.

Truth is:

-I exceeded my daily point allotment 4 of 7 days.  Not awesome.
-I ended the week 72 points over where I shoulda been.  That's almost two days worth of points.
-I worked out once.  Yup, I said it.
-At the beginning of the week I vowed to stave off the booze.  Yeah, well...I had no fewer than 9 drinks.  Oops.

So, basically, I got what I deserved.

Closing Time!

Well, it's my last official day at Live Nation.

Which means it's also my last official day of having an excuse to not do cardio. Yup, my laziness has come to a not so abrupt end.  It is time to get this metabolism rollin again.

Especially important as there seems to be a lot of toasting going on today.  Toasting my time at the company, toasting my leaving the company, toasting the rain, toasting to drinking at 3pm, toasting just to toast, etc, etc.

Shaping up to be a veeeerrrry tempting weekend.  Which generally translates into an insanely fun weekend.  Unsure how it will play out on the scale.  That's where the real trouble starts.

Go go willpower!!!

Skinny Jeans

Today I am wearing my skinny jeans--from 4 years ago..you know, the last time I made a real run at this weight loss thing.

Here's the wacky part.  Though I am sporting my skinny jeans, I feel decidedly fat in them.  Which is odd, b/c I weigh less now than I did 4 years ago when I thought I was a super hot in these jeans.  The weirder thing still, is that when I look back at pictures I look waaaaay thinner then than I do now--though I am definitively lighter currently.

Also odd are my recent trips to the scale.  Yes, trip(S)..as in plural.  When I weighed myself this morning I was 4 lbs thinner than I was 8 hours earlier.  Perhaps I am sleep walking--on the treadmill.

That MUST be it. 

If only....

Flat

Flat is the word of the day.  And sadly, I am not referring to my stomach area.

Flat= My weight loss.  Last week, despite reasonable efforts, my weight remained flat.  Maddening.

Flat= My mood.  I'm clearly in a rut this week.  Dunno why, really.  I need some umph!

Flat= My hair.  The humidity this summer is a killer.  Save me San Francisco!

Flat= The soda I am drinking.  Opened it before a 4 hour long meeting--drinking it now.  Ill planning.

Flat= My portfolio.  When, oh when, is the market gonna reach 14k?!?

Ok, reaching on that last one.

Anyhow, you get my point.

Old Habits Die Hard

Got some news today that makes me want to eat and drink myself into blissful oblivion.

In the scheme of life, the "big" news is no big deal.  But it's definitely something that would generally trigger some poor choices.

There will be none of that today.  No room for cheating.  I'm a little over a third of the way to my goal  and I must stay on track.  Focused.  Head in the game.

Last week is a toss up--was in a few situations in which food got the best of me.  Stayed within my allotted points overall tho, which I guess is a win.  Will see today at the big weigh in.

To be continued.......

Results

Well, kiddos, it's official.  If you actually DO Weight Watchers...low and behold you will actually LOSE weight.  Crazy concept, I know.

The long and the short of last week is that I DID "the plan" and  I LOST 5.2 pounds.  Oddly, this is the exact amount that I gained during the month prior.  Spooky.

This puts me at a 53 pound loss total--and takes me across the 50 pound mark (again).  Though lemme tell ya, it's much more exciting the first time you get to 5-0.

Still have 3.6 lbs to go to be at my lowest.  And 24.5 lbs and counting to be back on track (should be down 77.5 big ones by now).

To be completely transparent, I was far from perfect last week.  I got closer than I'm comfortable with to using all of my weekly extra points (I try not to use 'em)...AND...I'm still not entirely back on the wagon in regards to cardio. 

Ok, let's be real.  The fact that it is Thursday and I haven't done cardio at all yet this week indicates that perhaps I can just barely see the wagon in the distance.

All bets are off and excuses are null and void in a week or so.  Once I'm dunzo with this gig--it will be cardio alllll the time--well, twice a day. 

I swear it.

Scale Obsession

I spent the first 32.75 years of my life actively avoiding scales.  And when I say active, I mean ACTIVE--turning my head when being weighed at doctor's offices and threatening the nurses if they even began to utter a number in my presence, lying about my weight at the DMV, stashing my bathroom scale so far behind the hamper that the maid would cease attempting to pull it out and place it on the floor, etc.  It got ugly.

In a shocking turn of events, all that has changed.  It's like I am magnetically drawn to any and every scale that I pass by.

It all started about a week ago.  My boyfriend keeps his bathroom scale smack dab in the middle of the dining room.  For the last two weeks it has been aggressively taunting me as I walk past and glare at it.  Last Monday as I was walking to the kitchen to snag breakfast, I took a deep breath, took three steps to the right, and stepped up on the scale. 

The immediate result is one that you are now well abreast of--I was horrified by the number and driven to act immediately.  The scale had shamed me back onto "the plan". 

The more long term impact is much more shocking.  I now have a scale obsession.  The pros tell you that weighing yourself more than once a week is counter productive; daily is down right destructive.  I wonder what they would say about weighing yourself three times a day.

I am utterly captivated by my daily weight fluctuations.  And I'm pretty sure that it's not healthy.  I'd guess that "normal" lies somewhere in between screaming and running away in horror at the mere sight of a scale and weighing yourself before and after eating an apple to see if anything has changed.

Incidentally, I can definitively say that one's weight does not change immediately after eating an apple.....

Baby T

Today I am wearing a super cute baby t (well, fat person baby t) that I have not worn in 4 years due to the ill-fitting nature of this particular shirt.

Admittedly, I don't look super hot in the super cute baby t--on account of a roll or two that appear when I stop sucking in.  However, I do look better in it than I did a week ago--and can get it over my boobs which I definitely could not do 5 months ago.

In other news, I've successfully embarked upon day 4 of being back on "the plan".  Have been totally on track food wise and kicking some workout ass.  Not particularly pleasant  and I suspect I may be acting a weeee bit more grumpish than normal.  But at least I'm doing it.

I am a little too proud of myself.

Shoulda Coulda Woulda

My reality is this:

-I should have lost 75 lbs in the 7.5 months I've been on "the plan".  To date I am down 48 lbs.

-I have not really been committed to "the plan" for at least two months.  I guess you could say that I have regressed to my San Francisco (fun!) lifestyle.

-I have not done cardio regularly in just as long.

-I gained back 8.6 lbs of my initial loss.  I can feel it all over my body and it every piece of clothing.

-For all of the above, I am BEYOND aggrevated, annoyed, infuriated, at myself.

My reality also is:

-Yesterday I sat through a Weight Watchers meeting.  Weighed in.  Actually participated in discussion.

-Yesterday and today I have tracked my points.

-Yesterday and today I have done cardio.  Tomorrow I have a date with the trainer.

-Two weekends ago I moved in with my boyfriend.  Very grownup of me.  Very excited.

In the interest of my sanity, I am electing to focus on the latter list. 

Pint

They (Oprah, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, all health care professionals, etc.) are adamant that stress/ emotional eating is a big no no.

Untrue.

In my not-so-esteemed opinion, it's about limiting those stress/emotional eating instances to when it is utterly and completely necessary.  Because whether we like to admit it or not, it happens.

On Monday I, for the first time, ate a pint of ice cream in one sitting.  This may come as a surprise, as I believe it is customary for those of the female persuasion to resort to the cliche ice cream binge when having love woes and work troubles.  Nope, not me.  Until this week I had never, ever, ever fallen down that well.

Guess there's a first time for everything. 

I can't even say with a straight face that the pint incident was a spontaneous, manic episode.  Nope.  The inhaling of the Ben & Jerry's was after multiple failed attempts to secure a Rolo McFlurry from McD's.  Consider the pint a last resort.

And lemme tell ya.  I do not regret it for a second and can justify it with every (increasing) ounce of my being.

On that day, I totally, utterly, wholely, and completely needed ice cream and lots of it. 

Off the Wagon

I am so far off the wagon I can't even see the dust in the distance.  Pathetic.

You may have guessed this from my radio silence over the last little while.  When I started this little writing project I vowed to be nothing but truthful on this blog.  Apparently over the last little while I've chosen absence over facing fact. 

The time has come.

Haven't adhered to any sort of plan, really, since before Morocco.  I have no real excuse.  Still on steroids--which sucks.  But oddly. the steroids don't force you to choose french fries over fruit; nor do they make you sleep in instead of going to cardio.  Nope, this one's all on me.

It's like a different version of Aryn has taken over my body--a lazy, unmotivated, blah incarnation.  I don't like her so much.

Now, for the numbers.  As of this very moment I've lost 53.2 lbs total.  Gained 3.2 lbs since the last time I weighed in 3 weeks ago.  Both the lack of weighing in and the gain are awful--but truthfully, not nearly as bad as anticipated.  Sadly, when I stepped on the scale this am I was shooting for a < 10lb gain.  How's that for driven.

A 50+ lb weight loss is nothing to sneeze at, I know this.  However, everything is relative.  And if you look at my progress over, say. the last two months, it is laughable as compared to the first two.  First two months=down 21 lbs.  Last two months=down 8.4 lbs.  8.4 lbs-WHAT?  I used to lose close to that in one week!!!!

Don't let me fool you.  I am in no sort of conundrum (sp).  The answer is simple.  Do the freakin program.  I get it.  Yet I clearly don't GET IT. 

And I'm not sure what I need to get jump started--other than a muzzle.

In Shallah

Morocco was nothing short of amazing--not gonna even try to portray the three-ish weeks I was fortunate to spend exploring.

I will share a tidbit of culture that will no doubt stick with me.

There is a phrase that Moroccans seem to stick to the end of virtually every statement..."In Shallah."  Loosely translated, this means "God willing."

At first, I found it amusing..the whole "in shallah-ing" this and "in shallah-ing" that.  Here an "in shallah," there an "in shallah," everywhere an "in shallah".

However, the more I heard it used, the more I was truly enamored by the phrase.  Perhaps it has something to do with the tone--almost every time I heard it, it was delivered in a hopeful, deliberate fashion.  As if the person was cautiously optimistic that whatever positive step they were channeling would actually come to fruition--but that deep down, they truly believed that good things would follow.

Before I knew it, I was "in shallah-ing" with the best of 'em.  And I did my best to replicate the proper delivery.

Things have been a bit crazy since returning from the trip.  Health-health and health-fitness challenges have sprung from the woodwork.  No fun.

On the upside, I am down another 11 lbs.  That makes 57 lbs total in just shy of 6 months.

On the downside, at this moment I am having a bit of trouble focusing on the upside.

All I can say at this point is that things will all work out as they are supposed to....IN SHALLAH!

Fat in Moroccan

There are some things that are universal in any language.  I have come to find out that being called fat is apparently one of them.

Tale 1:
The primary customary method of dress in Morocco is called a "jalaba".  It's essentially a long sleeved, floor length, a line dress with a hood that is worn by both men and women.

Mom went into a store to try one on.  She pulled whqat she thought was her size down from the rack.  The shop keeper quickly ran over, laughed loudly, and handed her a garment easily twice the size of the one she had chosen.  FUNNY.

Tale 2:
Mom and I decided to experience the traditional Turkish bath called "hammam".  The actual experience is beyond accurate explanation, however, it essentially involves being scrubbed vigorously head to toe (and parts you didn't know) after being steamed as if in a rice cooker. 

I walked into the hamman and was directed to sit on a teeeennny tiiiiinnny stool.  The scrubber took one look at me and called for a giant wooden bench.  She then patted her stomach and giggled.  Also funny.

Pass the pigeon pie!

Made it....So Far

Well, after a couple of stressful weeks on the health front, weight front, and work front I've finally had my first Moroccan mint tea!!!

I arrived in Morocco fatter, with lower platelets, and with my mind more towards work than expected. But atleast I'm here.

The 21 hour trip wasn't too bad--pretty uneventful. And we managed to sneak in two Broadway shows and a couple of trips to the deli into a whirlwind 24 hours in NYC....on the way, of course!!

Lookin forward to a great adventure!!!!

Bullshit

I am crabby.  And I have been crabby..for a week now...due to these damn steriods.

In addition to being insanely irritable, the steriods have proven to bless me with insomnia, jitters, inability to focus, and lightheadedness--pretty well rendered me an all around mental case.

But that's not the best part.  The highlight of my week that I GAINED almost five pounds in less than fivc days.  Ya see, apparently the drugs are also great at water rentention, fat retention, and acting as appetite enhancer.

I can feel myself expanding......

Bollocks!

The title of today's entry is in homeage to the Royal Wedding--and is unfortunately very representative of my week.

This week has consisted of fun things like a trip to the ER, empanadas, a catscan (wiiiiiith contrast), a run in with french fries, daily needle torture, the ear of a a chocolate bunny, a spleen scan, gyros, news that I might not be able to go to Morocco, and only working out once.

But the utter highlight of this week is being put on a steroid with a primary side effect of weight gain.  Yup, you heard it right...I am now taking drugs that are at least in part counter-productive to my quest.

Pity party--table for one!

Avoidance

My most recent SOP has been one of avoidance--avoiding the scale, avoiding this blog, avoiding thinking about lack of cardio, avoiding dwelling on diet transgressions.  In a nutshell, avoiding reality.

After much prodding from various angles, today I bit the bullet and made the trek to Weight Watchers.

Ugh.

Utterly, completely, entirely to my surprise my last couple of weeks with my head in the sand resulted in a 5.4 lb loss--down 50 lbs total!

I guess I am more on the wagon than I'd thought.  Imagine what will happen when I focus!

Stalled

Well, it's official.  I'm in a lifestyle plan rut.

Three weeks ago: up .2 lbs (NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!)
Two weeks ago: down 2.8 lbs
Last week: down .4 lbs

Total loss: 3 lbs
Avg per week: down 1 lb
Previous avg per week: down 2.8 lbs

UGH

Clearly some rejiggering is warranted.  Perhaps in the form of eating less and working out more.

Hmmmm....

Worth a thought.

Jumbo Skittles

This entry is not for the squeamish.  Reader discretion is advised.

Fat lingerie.  Sounds like an oxymoron, eh?  And perhaps it should remain that way.  Lemme tell ya, there are few experiences like going to a lingerie store for fat people. 

You would think that a fat lingerie store would consist of black garments of various lengths.

NOPE.

Very few people look good in flourescent orange, hot pink, or shocking blue.  Yet, there were racks and racks of frilly smocks just begging to make victims resemble giant, jiggly skittles. 

Not a black number in the place.  Is this a JOKE?

In my humble (and jumbo) opinion, there should be a size limit to a lime green teddy and a bright orange thong should be reserved for Victoria's Secret models.

It's like whomever designed this "sexy" garb has never encountered a person larger than a size 2. 

I feel shortchanged and under-represented.

I think I just might have to write my Congressman.

Fat Day

Today I'm having a fat day...or should I say an especially fat day...b/c I'm clearly fat every day.

Anyhow.

Today I stepped out of the shower feeling fatter than normal.

It may have to do with two nights in a row of being less than angelic on the eating front compounded with not training since Tuesday.

Though I did do some walking yesterday.  Which was comedy in and of itself.

I discovered that apparently in a past life I was a drill sergent or something.  Here's how it played out.

Boyfriend and I went walking on a mile-ish loop in the burbs.  Yeah, I said it, I hang out in the burbs upon occasion.......

Upon completion of the first (and what the boyfriend hoped would be the last) loop, I apparently decided that we had not been getting enough exercise. Soooo....for the second loop that I tricked my poor guy into, he was subjected to me forcing him into sprint-walking 1 minute on- 1 minute off.   All the while shouting "Come on!  We can go faster!" And when he got shin splints, I found myself saying something akin to "suck it up." 

I guess I should probably never be a trainer.  Good times.

Whew!

When I woke up this morning I coulda sworn that I looked fatter...from all angles.  I put on a dress that I had worn a week ago, and was convinced that it wasn't going to fit.  I could definitely see each and every tortilla chip that I big time cheated and had last week.  Every sip of wine was returning for payback. 
And so I was TERRIFIED to step on the scale this am--so trepidatious that I managed to make excuses for two whole days to not weigh in.  I peed like 3 times to ensure that I was not going to be charged for even an extra ounce.

Apparently somehow I managed to get back on track--down another 2.8 lbs; 45 lbs total.

And now I look in the mirror and the dress looks different--the chips and booze have disappeared.

GO FIGURE.

Consequences

I'll start this tale with its unhappy ending--I GAINED .2 (point two) pounds last week.

This is the first time in 15 weeks that the scale has not moved in the right direction.

I'm bummed.  But I also totally get it.

Last week I.....
-trained only once
-had a few drinks a few more times than once
-ate Mexican twice
-ate dim sum once

When I laundry list it, it seems amazing that I pretty much stayed flat.

What is truly remarkable is that I feel the point two pounds all over my body.  I swear I see it in my (insert any body part here).  My clothes are tighter--no really.

Ok, maybe my body hasn't changed for the negative--but the feeling of such was enough to push me out of bed before dawn this morning and to the trainer.

This is a story that WILL NOT be repeated next week.

Freaky Friday

I, along with most people I know, am very fortunate.  This is something that I am acutely aware of, and try to remind myself of often.  Overall, I am one lucky, lucky girl.

Today, in addition to being "blessed" (yes, I said it)...I am also feeling fat and grumpish.

Let's just say that the day did not start well. 

I managed to cause a tiff with my boyfriend before 7am--now THAT'S talent.  And start the day running late.

I scramble home to find my almost perfect little pug puking her little guts out.  A good lesson to avoid eating from the trash can.

I then learn that my poor Grammy has taken a fall and is in some not so good shape.  This is when being emotionally close yet geographically far apart is tough.

And to round the morning out, I feel uber fat and uncute.

I think I'll spend the afternoon counting my blessings--of which, there are many, many, many.

Back in the Game

As I may have mentioned 87 times or so, the transition into working and boyfriending has been tough on my new lifeplan.  Woe is me....

Solid news.

It looks like I just may be back in the game.  For the first time since starting my new gig (and coincidentally, new guy), I went to the trainer 3 times last week...and did cardio another couple.  Add to that a reasonable week of eating and it's almost like I'm back in business!

Even better news.

The scale reflected the changes--down another 5 lbs...42 big ones total! 

Yahoo!

HELL YES!

4-ish years ago I lost 40-ish lbs in 2-ish months.  Not safe, I know.  But damn--I looked good.  And in celebration, I hastily got rid of all of my "fat clothes" and got a whole new wardrobe.  Not smart--considering I gained it all back and then some after about a year.

Since then it's been a bit of a struggle on the fashion end of things.  And since I've started this new lifestyle dealio my short term goal has been to fit into that "new wardrobe" of several years ago.

So...drum roll please.....

Last night I tried on my smallest pants from days gone by.  They aren't so cute just yet, but I got them on without so much as a tug. 

AND I am pretty darn giddy to share that today I am wearing a dress that I have not looked cute in, in eons.  Though I am still roughly 10 pounds shy of where I left off 4 years ago, I must say I am looking pretty slammin today.

I am counting the minutes until the day when I can regale you all with stories of wearing each and every piece of that old-new wardrobe.

Slowly but Slowly..er..Surely

Last week I lost one pound.  Yup, one.  Which is certainly better than gaining a pound, or even an ounce.

It's just slow.  Oh so slow.

Not that I earned more than that--because I didn't.  Another challenging eating and rough workout week.  My training last week was truly awful.  I just couldn't get my head (or body) in the game.  Every weight felt twice as heavy; the hour twice as long.  I think it's because I had been off my cardio.  My body teaching me a lesson.

This week has been better.  I've worked out three out of four days--and I feel pretty darn good.  Eating out is still a challenge--but I'm doing ok with it thus far this week.  Making mostly good choices.

Glad to be back in the game.

Bullet Dodged

Yeah, so I ended up losing 3 lbs last week.  I was totally, utterly, and completely surprised.  And I totally, utterly, and completely did not deserve it.  Not one ounce of it.  Well, mayyybe a couple of ounces.

And I'm totally, utterly, and completely not taking it for granted.

At the risk of sounding like a whiner, balancing has proven to be a bigger challenge than anticipated.  Though I don't have to be at the office until 9:30am, sleeping till 8am is much more enticing than a date with the elliptical.  And oh how I still love enjoying a margarita (or 5) with friends.  I know, I know..rough life.

Bottom line has to be: no more excuses and no more games.  It is imperative that I get 100% back on track.

I know I've been saying this for a couple of weeks now--but I think I'm actually starting to mean it.  Having my mom as a partner in crime will help.  Three weeks of birthday festivities has left the wagon in the dust for her.  But we are recommiting to holding each other accountable. 

I'm gonna be uber pissed when I'm back to it next week and I lose less than the 3 lbs that I half-assed last week.  LOL.

D Day

Well, this is it.  The day that all of this being not so on the wagon catches up with me.  I mean, it's not a certainty....but I'm pretty convinced that when I hop on the scale this evening, it will not be smiling back at me. 

And truly, it's no one's fault but my own.  Before I get a round of hate mail, lemme tell ya that I am acutely aware of the consequences of my inoptimal decisions.  I haven't been horrible, but I also haven't been great. This life balance thing has proven to be tough.  And I did NOT leave a life in San Francisco to do anything but be committed to this. 

So...when I meet my fate this evening...I will bitch a lot..and "whoa is me" a bit...and then I will recommit.  To myself.  And to doing what I gave up a whole heck of a lot to achieve.

Crisis Averted

Last week I was an utter workout failure--the gym didn't see my sweaty face for 11 whole days. Yup, I said it.  I did not work out for 11 days straight.  No joke.  No good.

This is not something that I am proud of.  Even a little.  I mean, I coooooould blame my trainer who stranded me by going on a fabulous Turkish vacay for a week.  Or I coooooould blame the new job, or maybe the new guy.  However, no one really is responsible except me.  Sad but true.

Now, this should be the part where I tell ya that karma is a bitch.  That I gained half the weight back, or whatever. 

But get this.  I LOST weight--4.4lbs to be exact.  That puts me at 33 lbs down total.

Can you believe it?!?!?!

That was not 4.4 lbs that I earned.  That 4.4 lbs should have been granted to someone far more deserving.

But it wasn't..and I'll take it...all the way to the gym!

Hallelujah!

I have never been so happy to lose .6 (point 6) lbs in my life.

Lemme tell ya. 

When I stepped onto that scale this morning for the first time in 11 days (shame on me!!!), I was fairly certain that the needle had been inching in the wrong direction. That would have truly devastated me.

Being back into real life the last couple of weeks has been rough--good....but tough.  I am slowly learning to balance and was afraid that my stumbles had set me back.

Fortunately the cosmos seems to be smiling on me.  I have been granted a chance to resume my place firmly on track without having lost ground.

For that, can I get a HALLELUJAH!?!?!

Motivation

The last week or so has been a bit of a bummer for me, as far as resisting temptation goes.

As I may have mentioned, each morning my bed beckons me to stay in it in lieu of a rendezvous with the gymnasio before work.  Last week the bed won five out of seven times.  Ungood.

As I have not yet mentioned, I am dating this great new guy.  And as we explore the city together my old habits of how to fully experience things have a tendency to kick in.  The food choices made this week were not always bad, just not always great either.  Also ungood.

And so, I woke up this morning searching for motivation to make it a better week of staying on track. 

I found that motivation, in the form of an unexpected email from a colleague whom I respect immensely both professionally and personally.  In sharing with me how my quest has impacted him, he helped me relocate my focus and determination.  My motivation intensified his motivation, which in turn rekindled my motivation. 

I guess random events sometimes aren't so random afterall.

Tricky

Alright.  I admit that this whole life change thing whilst working is a bit more challenging than anticipated.

When deciding to take on the new gig, I thought to myself  "all I have to do is wake up at 5am to work out every day--no problem!"

PROBLEM.

Humans should not be awake before the sun (unless hanky panky is involved).  That's the whole purpose of a sunrise--to tell the world that it is time to gear up.  It is utterly unnatural to say good morning before Mother Nature has. 

I firmly believe this.  Yet, this morning I found myself face to face with my trainer before one ray of sunlight had hit the ground.

There is clearly something wrong with this picture.

Hilarity

So, yesterday I got scolded.  By the Weight Watchers leader.  For losing weight too fast.

Now, in all seriousness, I understand the premise--there is a healthy rate at which to lose weight.

It was just kinda a funny scene.  You know, having to keep a straight face while being admonished for being too successful.  I don't think I did that great of a job of not cracking a smile--considering that I was literally almost jumping for joy when the scale reported me down.

And then I surprised myself.  Ya see, you get a token for different milestones--in this case, it was a 25 pounder.  And instead of tossing it into the bottom of my purse, I immediately and proudly affixed it to my keychain.  Yes, me.

So, we're lookin at down 7 lbs for the week--28 total for 10 weeks.  It may be "too fast", but I'll take it.  Particularly as I am learning to balance my new big girl job and the lifestyle change. 

Week 11, here I come!

Riddle Me This...

A few tidbits have dumbfounded me lately......

How is it that I find myself writing a February newsletter for The Chocolate Bar that is all about love, love, love, love and more love, yet I have no Valentine myself.  Bleh.

How is it that I start a new gig (surprise!) and I have 38 emails in my inbox before I even get there.  Lucky me.

How is it that I lost weight on the cruise and my mom gained, yet we ate the same food. Go figure.

How is it that I was EXHAUSTED when I got home from my first day back on the job when the most strenuous part of my day was being on the phone with IT for 3 hours.  Fun!

How is it that the salads at Barnaby's are just so darn good--I'm a total addict.  Scrumptious!

How is it that my last Weight Watchers meeting involved a call and response chant--and I actually did it.  Out of body experience.

And that's where my head is today.....

Viva Mexico!

Back on dry land.  And lemme tell ya being healthy whilst cruisin' is a bigger feat than I imagined.  Shocking, I know.

A few fun facts about our adventure in the sun:
-There are 14 occasions for meals each day; that is, if you ignore the fact that the pizzeria and deli are open 24/7.
-I have never ever ever seen fatter ugly people en masse in my life.  I'm not joking.  It was unbelievable. Where do these people come from.
-It is impossible (for me) to escape 2 days on Mexico's beaches without an encounter with a frosty beverage.  Guilty as charged.
-My mother and I should have worn shirts that said "anti-tourist".  No souvenirs, no playing dress up, no $500 bar tab, no visits to the formal dining room--mas fun!
-Towel animals are harder to make than it looks.
-The Carnival mascot strangely resembles a stuffed IUD (birth control device).
-Coconut water (the fad isotonic beverage) comes from actual coconuts--who knew!
-If you are on a double decker bus tour in Progreso, Mexico and the guide yells "duck-power lines," he means it.
-A great way to avoid the midnight buffet is to go bed before it starts.  And it is possible to have only tea whilst at high tea.  Much to my mother's chagrin.  
-Somehow, I managed to not gain weight.  Net-net, down .6 lbs.  I'll take it.

Back to the real world I go!

The Test

So, I'm going on this cruise today.  Some would consider going on a cruise whilst focusing on getting healthy to be counterintuitive.  I look at it as a challenge--one that I'm up for.

It's a good sign that cruise day 1 started off with a 6am rendezvous at the gym.  Bodes well for the rest of the trip, I figure.

Deck walking and beach tromping will be a nice break from seemingly endless time on the elliptical.  The timing is actually pretty good.  I've been a bit bummed out lately about missing the Q1 show season.  I hate everyone having fun w/o me!!!

The copious amount of food is admittedly less good, however, resisting is totally doable (for the most part).   My goal is to stay within my daily WW points.  Similar to my objective every day; for the next five days, more of a feat.  The solid news is, we are going on Carnival--so the food isn't that compelling to begin with.

Plus, I look really good tan.  So there is always that.

Training Day

If there's one thing I've learned so far on this journey, it's that the quest is much easier if you don't go it alone.

I am sooooo sooooo soooooo fortunate for all of the support I've received from all angles.  Beyond belief.

My trip to the gymnasio this morning reminded me of just how lucky I am in one particular aspect of my adventure.

Today my training session kicked my ass.  Everything was harder than I'd remembered; just plain difficult.  No particular idea why today was more of a bear than the others.  Five minutes in I was drenched in sweat, and therefore equally saturated with grumpiness.  I can't stand feeling weak.

If I had been at the gym by myself, I no doubt would have bailed.  No question.  However, there was zero chance that was happening, if my trainer had anything to do with it.  As the hour wore on and I wore out, it was truly only the pushing by my saint of a trainer that kept me on those machines.  Today it was his will, not mine, that got me through.

Tomorrow will be better.  And if not, I am not above harnessing the strength of others.  I am one lucky, lucky girl!

Blackjack!

Statistically speaking, January 17 (today) is the most depressing day of the year.  According to the radio jock I heard it from, it's something about Christmas bills being due, bad weather with no end in sight, and the holiday cheer having officially worn off.

I woke up this mornin having a similar view.  Today is gyno day--which therefore makes it my least favorite day of the year.  Add to that a romp on the elliptical, a trip to the trainer, and a stop to weigh in, and you've got the January 17 blues.

And so, I grumbled through my early am rendezvous with the elliptical followed by my weekly one on one time with the scale.

Only, this time when the cards flipped--BLACKJACK!

In a truly shocking turn of events, I managed to drop 7.2 lbs last week-a 21 lb loss total.   How crazy is that!!!!!!!

So, today I will waltz into the gynecologist with a smile on my face and a spring in my step.  And when she asks how things have been going, I just might shout "blackjack!"

Meh

This week found me significantly lacking motivation--a general sense of "meh".

Not particularly sure why, but the result was less cardio than intended (and blogging delinquency).  Ungood.  On the upside, my eating and training were pretty solidly on track--that does not make up for my not being as active as I should.  Thank goodness for the trainer; having an appointment in the gym at least keeps me from flaking 3 times a week.

I feel like I need a jumpstart.  I am utterly hopeful that that does not come in the form of yet another lackluster weigh in.  Not that I wouldn't deserve it.

I look in the mirror and I feel fatter.  It is wholly and completely impossible that I actually am.  Perhaps a mind trick brought on by guilt due to lack of cardio.

Next week it will be better.  I will make certain of it.

Incredible

So, I only lost .4 lbs last week.  Sigh.

Considering I was traveling and slightly less than virtuous, I WOULD be almost ok with the negligible loss.  However, I come to find out that my mother and cousin who are also on the program shed 2.6 lbs and 2 lbs respectively.  Maddening.

How that is possible I have no idea, considering that we literally ate the same food and did the same amount of exercise.  It's as if my body is laughing at me or something.

The whole thing is infuriating....but I keep telling myself that it is a marathon and not a sprint.  On the plus side, I am averaging 2.2 lbs per week.  The pros say that that is the safe amount to lose.  I say that at this rate I'd better hope that they have WW in the old folks home I will be in, still not having reached my goal weight.

Mi Familia

My family is not Italian--however, if I were to use one word to sum us up, it would be "mangia!"

This weekend we ate.  And when we were done eating, we ate some more.  Utter gluttony.  Some of the more memorable moments included the following exclamations:

"It's really too bad you are not eating (due to Weight Watchers), the food is sooooooo good here!"

"There is not a thing in this world I have discovered that I don't like to eat."

"This cake is sooooo good.  Pass me that third one."

"I had two egg salad sandwiches, two chicken salad sandwiches, and two corned beef sandwiches.  Hand me the potato salad."

When we were eating breakfast, we discussed lunch...during lunch, the talk turned to dinner...and so on and so on.....

In a shocking turn of events, I mostly was able to steer clear of all of the food pushing that went on.  That's not to say that I didn't do some tasting off the record; I most certainly did.  HOWEVER, a glutton I was not--and that is a true success in and of itself.

It's in the Genes

Well, I definitively figured out why I’m fat.  Let me set the stage.

My family gathered this week in Florida for my Great Aunt’s 75^th birthday.  Last night those of us who had arrived got together for dinner at my grandmother’s place.  It hadn’t been ten minutes before the childhood stories started pouring out of those of the older generations.  Thirty seconds into story hour the focus of the convo turned to food.  The next two hours sped by as each family member regaled the group with vivid descriptions of each and every favorite meal that had passed across the family table over the years.  Stories so graphic, you could literally taste the delectable treats and feel the lard appearing on your thighs.

As I was falling asleep last night I reflected on the evening that I was fortunate to be a part of.  In addition to feeling tremendously fortunate to have this time with my family, it became more apparent than ever what a huge undertaking I have chosen.  In deciding to rework my lifestyle, I am not only tackling my demons, I am also flying in the face of generations upon generations of talented eaters.   I was born into seeing food as both a blessing as a curse, just as the women in my family have for as long as we have been a family.

I am pleased to report that in addition to the traditional main activity of eating, we have thus far been successful at weaving exercising into the itinerary for this week.  For this, and for the time with my family, I am truly thankful.

Not So Banner Day

Today was kinda a rough elliptical day.  Honestly, not sure why—shouldn’t have been.  I just could not seem to get past the usually miserable first few minutes and into a groove.

Generally, the first 10 minutes are bleh, the middle 10 are awful, and the last 10 minutes on the machine are a breeze.  I know, I know—it totally does not seem to make sense that the last part of the workout would be the easiest.  I think it’s kinda like a trail horse that bursts into a sprint the moment he sees the barn.

Today, however, I almost burst into tears at how excruciatingly difficult my short 30 minute workout seemed.  It was just plain hard—every second of it. And it took literally every ounce of willpower I possess and half of my mother’s willpower for me not to bail.  LAME.

The worst part of having a bad workout, is the fear that it will be that unpleasant the next day, and the zillions of days thereafter.  It’s especially troubling, as I thought that I had gotten into a not-so-awful groove with this whole workout thing.

I truly am dreading tomorrow.  

What Not to Wear

It's officially the start of week 6 of the "journey to Aryn version 3.2"--if I hear "New Year, New You!" one more time, I may just scream.

The big news so far this week (aside from the 4.2 lb loss that I have been skipping around telling anyone who will listen about), is that for the first time I wore a color coordinated outfit to the gym.

Generally, I show up at the gym resembling a homeless person.  No, really.  Perhaps it is because I miss the streets of San Francisco.  More likely, it has something to do with my personal view that my time at the gym is all about utility.  I mean, I'm gonna come out of the gym looking like shit--so why put much effort into going into the gym.  In fact, you are lucky I wear pants at all!

However, after looking around at all of the non-sweaters at my training gym I noticed that in addition to being bone dry and smiley, they all look cute.

So, I decided today that I would try it.  Well, sorta.

In lieu of my usual baggy grey t-shirt with some university or other on it and black ill-fitting adidas striped pants, I went for the purple ill-fitting adidas pants and a FITTED SHIRT that had a hint of purple in it.  Crazy, I know.  Now, I would definitely not go so far as to say that I looked hot...or even cute.  However, I definitely did not look like a vagabond.

The weirdest thing happened.  I'm fairly certain that I walked into the gym with a bit more of a spring in my step.  The mirror even became less of my foe.  And as odd as it may sound, I felt a bit more like I belonged there.

All of this from just taking 30 seconds to consider what to wear.

Isn't It Ironic

Well kiddos, after 63 days of unemployed bliss I am somewhat returning to the grind.  Shocking, I know.

I will continue to maintain my hiatus status, however, have picked up a side gig doing marketing consulting for The Chocolate Bar.  The Chocolate Bar is pretty much exactly what it sounds like--a fab local spot featuring a delectable, dynamic collection of all things chocolate.

Yup, that's where the irony comes in.  I now spend my days strategizing for an establishment that is inherently my frien-emy.  I can't eat one darn thing in the place....but I strongly encourage Houstonians to!

It's kinda like a meth addict doing PR for a meth lab.  Brilliant.

In all seriousness, I am stoked at the opportunity to get my head back in the game.  And am utterly amused by the ironic twist.

In other news, week 5 of my quest finds me 4.2 lbs lighter--13 lbs total.  Can I get a what-what!?!

Un-Resolutions

Warning: The entry below is the second in a two part series of self indulgent posts.

Considering the whole leaving my life in my rearview thing, I think I'm a bit past making New Year's resolutions.  That's not to say that I don't have a plethora of growth areas for 2011--oh boy do I ever!

Naturally, I wish for my family, friends, and the world in general peace, happiness, health, and comfort.  No kidding.

In addition to the obvious, I am also selfishly hopeful that my 2011 will include the following (in no particular order):
-Gaining a stronger sense of self
-Ending 2011 half the size that I started it in
-Finding someone who I have the ultimate connection with
-Obtaining a level of fitness that I can be proud of
-Uncovering my next professional adventure
-Gaining greater understanding, compassion, and acceptance towards others' situations, challenges, and opinions
-Scoring a hot, new wardrobe
-Having the opportunity to continue to explore this vast world
-Participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer--39 miles..whew!
-Ending my committed relationship with carbs
-Being able to hop
-Getting a new, edgy haircut
-Taking advantage of every moment that I have been fortunate to spend with family and friends during my hiatus

Bring it on 2011!!!!!

Ode to 2010

I intended to post this pre-2011, however, life got in the way.

This entry may seem a bit self indulgent; I believe I owe the cosmos a huge thank you for all of the milestones I am fortunate to include as part of my 2010.  In somewhat particular order:

-Enjoyed a more dynamic dating and social life than any year prior
-Fell in love
-Saw my best girlfriend get married and have a baby
-Survived the most insane show season that I have ever experienced in my professional life
-Hit ticket sales records on multiple events
-Joined my family in exploring China
-Experienced the Giants winning a World Series
-Succumbed to the pressure to start a blog
-Began the year gaining weight and ended the year losing it
-Made the decision to make a change in favor of fitness and life balance and actually made the change

And that's just the big stuff....

Here's to a tremendous 2011!

HAPPY NEW YEAR