Doom...Doom...Doom

That's what rang in my head as I slinked into Weight Watchers this morning.

And doom is right.  3 pounds of doom.  Big ones.

My reaction to the less than auspicious results surprised me.

Instead of being irate, outraged, fired up...I was just plain bummed out, disheartened, deflated.

Last week I enjoyed a semblance of a "normal" life.

I stayed within my points 5 days, but went out with friends in from out of town...twice.  I didn't have a grilled chicken salad, no dressing on either occasion.  And my beverage(s) of choice packed a bit more of a punch than my usual water with lemon.

I worked hard at the gym 4 times...but not twice a day x 6 days.  And I downed 8-10 glasses of water per day instead of 16.

And so I was punished.  For hanging out instead of being at the gym....for going out instead of sitting alone forcing down a turkey sandwich on a single piece of wheat bread....for eating instead of pretending BBQ doesn't look good to me anyway....for drinking instead of watching.

"They" say it's all about moderation.  But this week it seems it's all about deprivation.

Am I feeling sorry for myself?  Absolutely.

Less so about the ground I lost...and more-so as I look into a week of more time at the gym, making excuses about why I can't go to lunch/ dinner with friends,  and convincing myself that I don't miss a dirty grey goose martini, two olives.

Yippee.

BEST. MOM. EVER.

I was pretty stoked--my fabu mom worked some magic and hooked me up with a trainer.

Totally, utterly, and completely necessary.

But now, after 2 sessions in as many days, I can't move.   Like, I can't turn the wheel of my car.  Like, I whimper when I breathe.  Like, I'm considering learning how to pee like a dude.

But it's a good pain.  If there is such a thing.

And it's just in time...b/c though I managed to drop 2.4 lbs last week..I have to have a 7lb week to stay on track for August.

Bring on the squats!  Don't mind my screams of agony.

Ode to Boiled Shrimp

Oh boiled shrimp, why are you so boring?
Fried shrimp scoff at you.
Hush puppies won't hang out in the same basket.
Your only friend, cocktail sauce.
Maybe it's because you taste so very blah.
And look so very meh.

Why must you torment me with your health benefits?
Your high protein to carb ratio.....
Your uncannily low point value.....

You are the best and worst option, in one slimy bite.

Seriously?!? SER-I-OUS-LY?!?

I am sooooo frustrated that it is unlikely I will successfully muster witty repartee.

I busted my ass last week.

Ate 2 bites at a cooking-themed bachelorette party.  Ate nothing at a chocolate-themed shower.  Passed up rivers of vino.  Turned my nose up a mountain of oreos and 2 tortes that somehow made their way into our pantry.  Downed more green smoothie than I care to remember.  And hit the elliptical 5 days.

And what's the payoff?!?  Nada.  Zero.  Zilch.  Not an ounce lighter.

Now, my beloved, on the other hand.  He must have connections with the gods that turn oreos into kale.  Somehow 88 oreos in 4 days + not one minute of exertion outside of waddling to the pantry= down 3 lbs.

How is this even possible?!?!?!?!?!?

Aryn v. Chocolate Cake

The short version: Chocolate cake wins by a landslide

The long version:

Round 1: Ladies Who Lunch
-Have been trying supa dupa hard not to eat out as of late.  But the opportunity to see a great friend in from out of town on Friday was a solid reason to make an exception.
-I enjoyed a tall glass o' water in lieu of an oh so tempting burger.
-Point: Aryn

Round 2: Bachelorette Extravaganza
-Friday night it was partay time in honor of the impending nuptials of an equally great friend.  Trouble is, the activity of choice was a private cooking class hosted by one of Houston's primo chefs. Oh so tempting.
-I passed up the free-flowing vino during the cooking portion and splurged on a cocktail at the bar afterwards.  Tasted one bite of every dish--and then shut my mouth.
-Point: Aryn

Round 3: Shower Time
-The Chocolate Bar was the venue for Saturday afternoon.  And the temptation of choice: chocolate of course--and looooots of it!
-Had one slice of choco-covered banana.  Took my portion of the ice cream, giant cake, and make your own chocobar home to the fiance (who, by that time, was no doubt in oreo withdrawal).
-Point: Aryn

Round 4: Nothing Good Happens After 2am
-Had awesome mental strength...until the wee hours.  The choco cake called my name with ever-increasing intensity...and then I ate it.  More than smidge.
-Point (16 of the suckers...according to the ultimate arbiter--Weight Watchers): Chocolate Cake

Damn you chocolate cake!

The 6,205 Oreos of Inspiration

The love of my life has downed (68) oreos (2/3 of them double stuffed) since Monday.  And if he continues at this pace, he will pound 6,205 oreos annually.  Truly impressive.
During this oreo marathon, my love has come up with some gems:
-"They were a gift.  It would be rude to give them away."
-"It's not like I'm killing puppies.  I like oreos.  Is that a crime?"
-"It's not my fault.  I didn't buy them."
-"They are only 2 points."
-"That's what weekly points are for."

Which gets me to thinkin about excuses in general...and more specifically, the equally "logical" assertions that I have no doubt spouted upon (more than one) occasion since this journey began.
Truth is, there is little justification for the years I spent eating and drinking away my health...though I certainly was very successful at convincing myself of the validity of a multitude of excuses.   And, my choices, in aggregate, are no doubt even more ridiculous than ingesting one's bodyweight in creme filled cookies.  If that's possible.

An important realization...or so 12 step programs say.

So maybe the result of Oreo Fest 2012 will be more than cookie crumbs on my kitchen floor.


 

July Mission: Accomplished

I'd really love to end this year where I ended last year.  At face value, making zero progress in the span of a year is hardly a lofty goal.  Especially for someone who uprooted her entire existence in the name of progress.

But, reality is reality.

I wrapped up 2011 down 64 lbs...and found myself 50 lbs heavier than that low by mid-2012.

It is what it is.

And though I started my greatest life challenge thus far going for the gold, I will be elated with the bronze.

When it comes down to it, that means dropping an average of 11 lbs a month through November.

July goes in the win column--a 10.8 lb win.

So I start my August 2012 quest--with my head hanging slightly and my closet hanging fully with clothes that should fit but don't.

In the words of one of my mentors....ONWARD.