It's never a good sign when you have to hit the back button like 210 times to find the last day that you tracked your food on Weight Watchers.
The fact is, today is April 24, 2013 and the last time I tracked was September 20, 2012.
And in between then and now, I seem to recall giving myself a deadline to start again no fewer than 10 times. But the scale, if I had the courage to get on it, I'm sure would tell me that I failed to get back to the plan every single one of those times.
So, here I am. Nearly 2.5 years into my high stakes quest to regain health. And likely heavier than when I started the whole thing. And I'm not counting the whole picking up a husband thing in my calculation.
On paper, it no doubt seems like a total bust.
But numbers aren't everything (says the girl who, in her professional life, lives and dies by the sales numbers).
I have managed to learn a thing or two in my trek from giant, to notably less-giant, to giant-er.
The most meaningful of which is that I know that I HAVE the ability to get to where I want to be. Encouraging for sure...but has also proved to be my Achilles heal. A rationalization for making an exception 210 days in a row--"I can ALWAYS get back to it when I NEED to. You know, once I am back from this trip...before the wedding....after the wedding...once the show season has ended, etc."
Today I have done something that, for a variety of reasons, I have been unsuccessful at doing for the last 210 or so days. And it feels good. Not an "I can concur the world" good, but more of a "at least today I did instead of just bitched."
Perhaps tomorrow I will put some serious thought into actually using that gym membership I continue to pay for.
The fact is, today is April 24, 2013 and the last time I tracked was September 20, 2012.
And in between then and now, I seem to recall giving myself a deadline to start again no fewer than 10 times. But the scale, if I had the courage to get on it, I'm sure would tell me that I failed to get back to the plan every single one of those times.
So, here I am. Nearly 2.5 years into my high stakes quest to regain health. And likely heavier than when I started the whole thing. And I'm not counting the whole picking up a husband thing in my calculation.
On paper, it no doubt seems like a total bust.
But numbers aren't everything (says the girl who, in her professional life, lives and dies by the sales numbers).
I have managed to learn a thing or two in my trek from giant, to notably less-giant, to giant-er.
The most meaningful of which is that I know that I HAVE the ability to get to where I want to be. Encouraging for sure...but has also proved to be my Achilles heal. A rationalization for making an exception 210 days in a row--"I can ALWAYS get back to it when I NEED to. You know, once I am back from this trip...before the wedding....after the wedding...once the show season has ended, etc."
Today I have done something that, for a variety of reasons, I have been unsuccessful at doing for the last 210 or so days. And it feels good. Not an "I can concur the world" good, but more of a "at least today I did instead of just bitched."
Perhaps tomorrow I will put some serious thought into actually using that gym membership I continue to pay for.
No comments:
Post a Comment